The Bicycle Thief
by Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
Summary: Occurs right after 'Zen and the Art of Bicycle Maintenance'. We all know the 'good guys' side of the story, but what about the thief herself? Just what is the bicycle thief's side to the story, anyway?


A/N: Unfortunately, I cannot remember the name of the girl in 'Zen and the Art of Bicycle Maintenance' who was after Ray. This is a tad unfortunate as this entire story if focused around her. I looked all over the web for her name, but couldn't find it. I know, it's sort of stupid that I'm writing a fanfic about a character I don't even remember the name of. But if you can recall it, say so in a review so I can include it in the summary. It's a good thing it worked out that I didn't even need her name, though.  
  
On a second note, if you have not already heard, check out the RFR Underground Awards. It's round two, now, and you can find it (Note: I'd adore you if you would nominate either of my RFR fics wink, nudge)  
  
The Bicycle Thief  
  
By Cradlerobber Speedo-kun  
  
To me, I had always been justified. But that's what all "criminals" say, right? Or they say things along those lines. At least, that's what I've always heard.  
  
He was someone I couldn't have, because he didn't know who I was. He probably didn't even know I existed anywhere in the universe, let alone in some of his classes. My Sexy Sherlock. But he wasn't ever mine. I wanted him to be, so I started this whole charade just to get his attention. I knew he'd be the type to latch onto it and not let go. He's just that sort of person.  
  
I've admired from afar all year, wondered how to get close somehow, wanted to get just even five feet closer to him somehow. It seemed pretty hopeless, though. If I didn't think of something soon, I knew I'd be over him and be none the better for it. So I thought of ways, and all of them were endlessly asinine and impossible.  
  
And, then, one day, a genius idea struck me like a bolt from the blue. And all it took to think of it was just watching a movie. The Bicycle Thief. Bicycle thief. Robbie wouldn't let Ray borrow his bike. They had been semi-arguing during math about it. Robbie didn't want Ray harming his bike, but Ray just would not or could not understand this. If Ray did manage to borrow it somehow, and I could manage to snatch it away from him somehow, I could have Ray for however long I could keep up the suspense. He'd feel awful if he lost Robbie's bike somehow, and if it was obvious that it was stolen, well, he'd stop at nothing to catch the thief and retrieve the bike.  
  
I felt like the cat who ate the canary. Sure, it was a little farfetched that Robbie would ever let Ray touch his bike, but there was still a possibility. I just didn't think it would present itself so quickly, practically handing itself to me. I was at Mickey's when it happened, and Lily and Ray walked in. I briefly sent unnoticeable death glares at Lily, before realizing what they had left locked up right outside the window. Robbie's bike. I only recognized it because Robbie had kept going into such huge detail about it almost every single day. It was his pride and joy, really. And if I got it, I'd have something as my pride and joy too.  
  
Well, mostly my joy, really.  
  
So, even though it was very likely I'd get caught since it was broad daylight and right on a busy street, I went after the bike. And I succeeded! It was almost too easy. But the lock was weak, and the bike was mine, and soon Ray would be too.  
  
It went as predicted. Ray was desperate to locate the missing bike and catch the culprit. I played the role of and aspiring sleuth, and became the more devious half of a detective duo. Or so I thought. In retrospect he outmaneuvered me, and probably because I was too confident in my ability to be deceitful. But for a while, at least, I had them all fooled.  
  
It was Lily who was my downfall. I blame her. Because of her, I could never have Ray, and because of her I was also caught and my clean record marred. She just had to punch Ray when the lights were off before the surprise party, right? She punched him, and because of that my absence was noticed. If I had been there, she couldn't have leaned over and punched him. And if she had tried I would've tripped her, the ungrateful bitch. She has Ray's affection, and what does she do? She dates random guys who aren't half as good as Ray, and she punches and throws stuff at him on a daily basis! She gets Ray when Ray can't even have her, and I get stuck doing this godammed community service!  
  
He caught me in the end. I could've gotten it from a page in a mystery book, or from a clip of an old-time mystery movie. The cunning lady is found out in the end by the very man she tricked, and instead of choosing her and keeping quiet, the 'hero' does the "right" thing, alerting the authorities and having her arrested. It's so utterly cliché.  
  
I finish raking the leaves that littered the ground in this tiny park, and look up. He's walking by, but he's not alone. He's with Lily. Stupid, disgusting Lily. And he doesn't even notice me over here, clad in bleached jeans and a dull plaid shirt. He's too busy telling her a joke, and she's too busy laughing. I don't exist here anymore. At least not to you.  
  
Can I just ask you one more question? Just one more, and then you can forget me? Which is worse: stealing a heart, or stealing a bicycle? 


End file.
